he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
