I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
