please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize