No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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