Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize