awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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