Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize