The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
