Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
