All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
