wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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