Whoa Z and x make the same sound
do herpes really smell.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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