When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize