We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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