Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
