so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
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