Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
