..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
