Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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