Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
