It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
