Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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