Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
