dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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