god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
