what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize