My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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