New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
