On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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