I CAN MOONWALK!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
