Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
