Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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