is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
