Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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