we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
