Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
