believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i think my cat just said my name.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
