Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
