don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
