How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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