Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize