you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
