oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
