Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
