In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
