I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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