What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
