new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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