You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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