Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize