We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize