11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
