I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I don't deserve a penis
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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