I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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