We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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