O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my being single is dangerous.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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