roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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