respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
