we're chasing vodka with high fives
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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