I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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