haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
