if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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