I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
