Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
