Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
