Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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