why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
